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Monday, June 21, 2010

Finally an Answer...Though Not the One I Wanted

I'm not really sure how to approach this post...so I guess I'll just jump right into it! 

For the past 15 years or so (my dates are a bit foggy), I've had some pretty major gastrointestinal problems.  Forgive me while I get a bit graphic with you all!  I've had cramping, bloating, gas, diarrhea, and/or constipation and just plain discomfort for pretty much every day of those 15 years.  I don't remember the exact date it started, or how old I was...just that I began having "stomach" issues sometime early in my life.  I was first diagnosed with ulcers, then as that diagnosis seemed to no longer fit, I was diagnosed with IBS (irritable Bowel Syndrome).  Finally...an answer I thought.  The doctors (and I saw many) basically told me that they didn't really have a solution for my pain, just a diagnosis and some pills that might temporarily relieve my pain when I was having an "episode"!

I can clearly remember many instances where I was doubled over in pain, and the little green pills they gave me to "relieve" my pain, were simply not cutting it.  My most vivid memory is lying on a park bench at Bush Gardens Florida where my family and I were vacationing.  I was in such excruciating pain that I couldn't walk anymore.  I had to lay down in the fetal position and hope the pain would subside enough with time that I could actually walk out to the car.  That happened more times than I can count!  Still, IBS was the diagnosis, and "sorry about your luck" was the basic solution!  I remember one particular doctor making a joke of the fact that the pain I was feeling was comparable to labor pains and that it would be old hat when I was actually in labor some day!  I now know he was right...gee thank Doc!  It's enough to feel that and have a baby a few hours later...but to experience it as a kid, with no reward...yeah...not fun!

Anyways...over time, I gave up talking to doctors and having tests run on me over and over, that I settled with the IBS diagnosis and decided it was simply something I would deal with my whole life.

Fast forward several years...My cousin had been diagnosed with Celiac disease, and the family soon became aware that several of them had a gluten intolerance as well.  Still no red flag went off in my mind, and I ignored my aunts suggestion to the extended family that we all get tested since it was a genetic condition! 

Fast forward again to last week, when after reading several blogs and miscellaneous websites, I was convinced I had a gluten intolerance.  To be quite honest, I wasn't actually convinced, instead, I was feeling a bit like a hypochondriac, but none the less, called my doctor and requested a "celiac" panel of blood work be taken.  Well, I got the call this weekend, that indeed my blood work came back positive for Gluten Intolerance.  Wow!!! 

The past several years started running through my mind, and the realization that not once did any one of my doctors or specialists suggest that I might have a food allergy of any kind.  How was it missed, when it was so clear to me after doing the research?  I guess that's neither here nor there.  I now have this diagnosis and am not quite sure what to do with it.  I guess going Gluten Free is the obvious solution, though the selfishness in me doesn't want to "give up" the things I love so much.

I don't really think it's that...as much as I don't want to be different.  I don't want to have to be the girl who asks for the "gluten free menu" at the restaurant, or who goes around examining food labels while at the grocery store.  Or how about the girl who diagnosis dishes that people bring to potlucks, or family dinners, and when asked why I'm not eating something have to respond "oh...I'm gluten free"...like I'm too good or something.  So while I'm not happy about being "that girl", I guess I will have to be her and hopefully the relief from pain that I will soon be feeling...will be worth it!!!  Right?!?!  Ugh.......